Ode to a Bathroom Attendant

Last week Steve and I had the chance to go on a wonderful trip (about which I will bore you with a blog entry with soon).  We flew out of Seattle late Friday night and had a few hour lay over in Charlotte, North Carolina (I was pretty excited about this because I'd never been to NC, so now I can check that state off my list - with an asterisk of course, beings that I've only seen the inside of the airport.  See also Alaska... uhhh, I digress.)  So we arrive in Charlotte at about 6 am, which is 3 am Seattle time.  You can imagine that I was a little worse for wear.  

The airport was  much larger, busier and modern than I was expecting.

I went into the restroom  to freshen up a bit.  Immediately I was impressed because on the counter was complementary mouthwash, "ladies" products and those great mints that melt in your mouth.  Already I'm already feeling perkier.  By the time I've entered the area with stalls, I can hear two women conversing... one of them very animated.  It quickly became clear that this woman was a restroom attendant.  She was moving quickly, finding empty stalls for her guests, tidying up, and taking care of everyone.  The first thing I heard her say was, "yes, I DO like my job.  I get to talk to people all day long who are going all over the world."  I was so impressed with the energy and joy she brought into an airport bathroom!  (She brightened my day even more than the thought of free tampons!)  All the while as she worked so efficiently, she kept a cheerful line of chatter.  As I was washing my hands, I heard her say to a traveler who must have been complaining about long flights,  "Oh, so you have a long day ahead of you, do you?"  And she said it with such genuine compassion...  This from a woman who would spend her day in an airport bathroom.

Steve and I were soon off to a beach vacation in Mexico.  But throughout my vacation, and now since my return, I keep thinking of this wonderful woman who chooses to be happy and, more importantly, to share that happiness with others.  I want to be like that:  to be the kind of person who doesn't wait for better circumstances to be happy.  But who chooses happiness and kindness and love.

So, my sincere thanks to this stranger who I'll never see again... and who I'll never forget.

Tis the Season to be Thankful

A Few Random things For Which I'm Grateful:

* Pandora. I'm listening to Christmas tunes right now on one of three radio stations that I've designed myself. I never have to listen to a song I don't like... and this is all free. As a kid, I never would have imagined that kind of luxury. I'm truly grateful for technology and how it sweetens my life.

* Matching Senses of Humor. I'm grateful that the three of us share the same twisted brand of humor. This has drawn and held us together in times of stress and frustration. Laughter makes pretty much everything better.

* Church Callings. I love that every couple of years my life is shifted by an outside force. One year I'm studying doctrines to teach adults, another I'm a party planner and then I find myself presenting flannel board stories to 3-year olds. I don't choose where I serve but I've never had a calling that I haven't 1) grown from and 2) gained a new friend. It's one of life's miracles.

* Being married to someone who is so different from who I am. Steve is the perfect foil for me. We see things so differently and this has taught me so much over the years.

* Uncertainty. It is the most uncomfortable feeling, but I have come to appreciate the way this causes me to stop leaning "on the arm of man" and drives me to a reliance on a the only sure foundation: a Loving Father in Heaven and His Son. I can't see the path, but I'm learning to trust that He will guide me through it.

* Health. Possibly the most unappreciated blessing in my 46 years.

* A Happy Son. I don't know how Brian manages it, but from half a world away, he brightens my day each day by his unfailing positive attitude.

* 5th Place. How grateful I am to have raised my son in the Cul de Sac that time forgot. With neighbors who have taught our family about service, compassion and humor. My hope is that I'll grow old and die there as well.

* Friends of different ages: Those who are older and wiser who I want to emulate, those who are younger and more energetic who motivate to keep trying new things, those who share a million memories of raising our children together. And for Pat, who I hardly see, but who I can't remember a time before her. She is my first memory and though years may go by between visits, there is not an ounce of discomfort or awkwardness.

* Friends to whom I'm related. I've heard the quote, "Friends are God's apology for our families." But God owes me no apologies. My family members are among my dearest friends.

*This time of year. I love Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the feeling that comes with this season...

Halloween Miracle

This morning I took a walk.  All through the night we'd heard the rain through the open bedroom window.  But this morning, it was a battle between sun and clouds.  As I plugged in the nano and tied up my shoes, the clouds were winning.

But just as I was cresting the last hill on my way home, the sun broke through the clouds.  And it got warm.  Almost uncomfortably so.  It was wonderful... one last kiss of summer.  It felt so good that I closed my eyes and inhaled as deeply as I could... only to realize that I smelled Christmas.  The wet pine needles and bark beckoned me to that other favorite of my year... the Holidays.

For one brief moment, I had it all:  summer saying goodbye and the holidays welcoming me back home.   It was the sweetest contradiction I've ever encountered.  A perfect moment in time.

[Editors Note:  just realized that Aussies get this combo every year... should I feel less special now?]

Out of the Mouths...

I haven't blogged lately because, well, I just haven't had much wit or wisdom to impart.  (I know...  I know... that never stopped me from speaking up in the past.)  But this little pearl isn't from me, but stolen from a 3-year old.

Many of you know that I have the incredible privilege of working with the Primary children in our church.  These kids are wonderful.  They are funny, sweet, kind, with just enough mischief to keep things really interesting.

Sunday was the Primary Sacrament Presentation and the kids were amazing.  The Sunbeam teacher (the three-year old class) was out sick, so I had the distinct honor and privilege of keeping three little ones "reverent" as they sat on the front row, right next to the pulpit.  After two two-hour practices they were no longer buying into "soldier arms" or "look, your parents are watching", but they really did an amazing job... again, they bring just enough mayhem to keep the Primary Presentation lively.  All the kids were incredible and the feeling in the chapel was so sweet and tender.  When the meeting was over, kids, parents and teachers alike were on a spiritual high and loving life.

Again, with the Sunbeam teacher out, I was able to substitute their class on the fly.  I love teaching this group.  Funny, funny kids.  Armed with crayons, cut out headbands and a blanket, I was ready.

The topic this Sunday was "Honesty."  The class has one little boy who is lovely, adorable and on a different planet most of the time, and two little blond girls:  "J",  who literally looks like an angel.  She has golden hair that falls into natural ringlets, big blue eyes and knows every answer to every question:  amazing.  The other little girl, "E"  is just as beautiful and just as delightful... and her forte is being forthright about her thoughts and feelings... sometimes painfully so.

Initially E let me know that she really wanted her "other" teacher"... you know... the one who brings treats.  At this, Angel J came up and hugged me, therefore guilting E into a hug as well.  Again, the little boy clueless, quietly picking his nose.  I did not ask him for a hug.

Then we begin discussing the topic for the week:  Honesty.  I asked lots of questions about it and it was clear that they had a great understanding of what Honesty is.  I was on a roll.  Then I asked, "Have you ever had a time when you weren't honest?  How did that make you feel?"

Angel J raised her hand.  I thought 'cool... there is a dark underbelly here that I'm going to learn about.'  But when called upon, J informed me, "I've never said anything wrong."  And looking into those blue eyes, I swear I believed her.

Then E's hand went up.  I called upon her.  She was uncharacteristically hesitant as she began to speak.  "Ummm, one time I said that I would eat my food up all gone when I was done with my bath."  She began to look uncomfortable as she spoke.  Cruelly I asked, "so did you finish your food all gone when you were finished with your bath?"  At this point E's face fell.  She said, "... uhhh, I forgot.... {heavy pause}....I don't want to talk about this honesty thing any more."

Ahhh, the wisdom (and honesty) of a child.  After almost crying I was laughing so hard, I realized that wise and (almost always)  honest E had made a very powerful point.  We don't feel good when we aren't honest.  And we certainly don't want to dredge up painful memories of past transgressions.... thank heavens for repentance!!!!

Please leave me in Primary until I become as wise as a Sunbeam.

A Hello from Paris, France

Brian sent me the best birthday present a mom could get:  a memory card filled with pics!!!  So fun to get a glimpse of missionary life in Paris!  Every letter is filled with joy and excitement.  And apparently, he's not faking it... judging by the smiles in these photos.

Brian's favorite P-Day activity is playing American Football in the "most beautiful park in the world" just across the way from the Eiffel Tower.  

 He says the Parisians take pictures of this crazy spectacle!

Happy and so Handsome!

Brian loves working with the Chinese in Paris.  He loves the language, the culture, and especially the people!

On a rare, precious day outside of the city:  a district hike.

Gangstah's or Missionaries?  You Decide.  This is with Elder Langouet.  Brian has taught this French elder many wonderful things:  like how to use the words "dope" and "sick-nasty" in a sentence.

He loves Elder Lazarev (from Washington DC)

and a special message from the Elder himself.

JUMBO JANGA!

One of Steve's and my favorite past times is the good ole' summer barbecue. We knew when the days of summer were dwindling, we needed to fit in one more backyard bash.

Early in the planning phase, I went to my consultant, Ashley, who is the UPG (Ultimate Party Guru). She mentioned Life-Sized Janga, and I knew we'd found the perfect activity. While the title "life-sized janga" in the invitation confused some of our guests, the more courageous/trusting souls showed up anyway. Did people really think I would stack human bodies?? Disturbing thought on many, many levels...

The final outcome of the evening were great gourmet burgers, a fun backyard movie (hence the classy sheet hanging in my backyard) and a soon-to-be classic game of Janga.

It was so fun to share the evening with friends from different parts of our lives. We are so blessed with good friends who love to have a fun together. We were also blessed that despite the lack of hard hats, no one was injured in this very intense competition. (next time bicycle helmets will be distributed prior to the opening kickoff.) Thanks to Mary Ellen's nimble movements, she avoided the fall of the Tower and won't need to sue us. Again, we are grateful.

We're sad to see summer come to an end, but felt like we did savor it to the fullest!

Lisette Getting Things StartedSteve courageously playing even with his injuries
Out Comes the Ladder
6'3" Dave needed to stretch to reach the top

Mary Ellen: Gracious... and strangely triumphant in defeat

What I Learned On My Summer Vacation

As another summer rolls to its close, it's time for my beginning of the school year report.  The first week of May Steve had foot surgery.  The surgery had complications and because of that, our summer has taken on a very different shape from prior years.  Judging by our activities, we were not only empty nesters, but apparently we were about 75 years old.  Steve has used a wheel chair, crutches, cane and of course hobbling to get from point a to point b for the past 4 months.

Here are some of the things that I learned:

• I can be trusted with a lawn mower.  (I have suspected this for years).  Steve had always jealously guarded the tending of the lawn.  I have never known if this was from the fact that he was protective of me... or protective of the lawn.   But I've taken on this weekly task and kind of enjoy the process... and dog gone it, both the lawn and myself look just fine.
• I cannot be trusted with a week whacker.  (Steve has suspected this for years).  After having real success with the whole lawn mowing thing, I was ready to move up to edging the lawn.  I soon learned it was either the weed whacker or me.  After a 90 minute epic battle, the two of us parted company, each a little worse for wear.  So please, come enjoy the look of our lovely lawn, just pay no attention to the long grasses along the edges. 
• Elvis Presley is not a great actor.  I know!  I was shocked too.  But no matter how large a part The King played in Steve's youth, I am still eternally grateful that the Elvis Marathon on TMC is now over.  Steve has watched more old movies in the past four months than you can imagine.  That Elvis weekend was a real low point.  Steve did love being sucked back in time to when his parents would pile in all the kids into the station wagon in their jammies to watch Jail House Rock or Girl Crazy at the Drive In... and unfortunately, I had to pay the price for that this summer.
• I love coming home to having Steve perennially perched on the couch!   One thing that I really came to enjoy that whenever I flew in from work, my walk, a meeting, Steve was right there... typically with the Remote in hand.  He continued to entertain me from this spot on the left end of the couch.  When he finally went back to work part time, I was amazed at how sad I was to come home to no Sofa Sentry.  I missed his laughter and his interest in my day... even when his own day had been quiet, boring and lonely.
• Steve can be focused, to a fault.  He is reading "Killer Angels" a novel of Gettysburg.  You would think that the battle is still raging.  Steve is so upset with Buehl and so saddened for Longstreet... "why won't they listen to him?"  I keep reminding him that the battle was was over about 150 years ago... and that by most accounts, it's good that the north won... but Steve is still pretty stressed about the whole thing.  That brings me to the last great thing I learned this summer:
• I need to learn to be more in the moment.  More present in my own life.  For 27 years I've considered myself "the efficient one" of the two of us.  I can cram a lot into my day and feel good about myself in the evening when I've accomplished things from an imaginary list in my head.  I've often been frustrated when I'm waiting in the car while Steve was still getting ready.    I finally realized this summer that Steve has a quality of stillness that I lack.  He "is where he is" with few distractions and no apology.   So often when I'm participating in one activity, I'm spending half my energy planning the next one.  Sometimes I swear that I'm sitting above myself critiquing my behavior.  As I've watched Steve patiently handle a very slowed pace of life, I realize that he's been able to handle it so gracefully because he doesn't rush himself and doesn't judge himself by some ridiculous list.   

So my goal this fall is to take it all a bit more and not judge my self worth by how full my day is.  Thanks Steve for the lesson.  (I do still reserve the right to sigh and roll my eyes when I am waiting for him in the car).

Happy Happy Birthday Brian Dear!

Our Brian turns 20 tomorrow.  Of course he is always, always in our thoughts, but this week it's with an added measure.

Being Brian's mom has always brought so much laughter and joy... & just a touch of embarrassment from time to time!  Though this is the first year of Brian's life that we haven't spent physically together, I feel like I've learned so much about him in the past 11 months and 6 days (who's counting, right?).  The things I've learned most about him are about his character.

I've always known that Brian had a sunny disposition.  I've known that he is positive & optimistic by nature since he was an infant.  But I never realized just how deeply that ran.  I've come to see in the last year that even in times of incredible testing and challenge, Brian looks for, and finds the good.  He taught me a huge lesson this year in an email he sent me.  In responding to my question, "was this week a good one, or was it hard?"  He returned this thought to me that has rung in my ears ever since, "Mom, are you crazy????  Don't you know it can be both?"  I'll never forget that wisdom.

I've also learned a lot about the depth of Brian's faith.  I always sensed faith and conviction within him, but Brian has been one to hold those precious things close to his heart.  And so I silently prayed all through Brian's teenager years that he would be quietly gaining a testimony of His Savior.  Oh, how this prayer has been answered.  When Brian received his mission call, I was terrified.  How could he learn these two incredible difficult languages and then serve in such a challenging place?  I'm pretty sure Brian was a little terrified himself.  Being able to watch Brian tap into his faith and rely on his Savior this past year has been one of the great privileges of my life.  His work and prayers have brought about miracles that I couldn't imagine.  Brian's faith has strengthened mine.  His efforts have strengthened my resolved.  His service strengthens me... from 6000 miles away.

So on the eve of my son's 20th birthday, I give thanks to a loving Heavenly Father.  I thank Him for giving me 19 years with a son who brought more joy and happiness to his parents than was imaginable to me back in 1989.  And I'm thankful, as well, for the past year being physically apart.  I'm thankful for the unique lessons that Brian is learning from this sacred experience and I'm especially grateful that I'm able to learn a few of them as well.  Maybe Missionary Work is Vicarious Work in its own way.

I Give Thanks. 

Water Babies II

Last weekend we had a Rowley Reunion.  It had been too long since we'd been together.  I forgot just how fun... and how loud we are when we get together.  It really was a blast.  Because the weather was hot and beautiful, and because the kids have the coolest grandparents EVER, a slip and slide miraculously appeared in the heat of the afternoon.  The kids were hysterical together...  Let's not wait three years to do this again!

Elizabeth Rowley making it look like water ballet

Cole and Mark Rowley 

Cole Edgell, or as I call him "Colby, Swiss and Cheddar" - Funniest Kid on the Planet

Brett Edgell

Mom and Dad and their 7 Children

With Spouses

and Grandkids!

Water Babies

Last weekend we took a beautiful drive through the Pass to Bruce and Gail's.  We had such a wonderful visit with cinnamon rolls (Gail totally spoils Steve), Chicken "Divin" and incredible company.  One thing you can always count on with Bruce and Gail:  where they are, their Grandchildren will not be far behind.  Enjoying pool time with Gibson and Madison was awesome!  I thought these shots were irresistible!

Who is having more fun??  Uncle Bryce Rocks.

Gibson jumping to Uncle Doug

Please note the water level in the goggles.

I've Made a Terrible Mistake

Sure.  Facebook seems like a good idea.  

Every one is talking about it: 

•  "You can get back in touch with really old friends", [with the implicit advantage of choosing only images of yourself that hide your wrinkles and those lb's that you've gained since you've last seen these old friends ]
•  "You can keep in touch with younger and hipper co-workers and nieces and nephews..."  
• And the surveys?  Heaven!  What's not to love? 

Well, an hour and a half in and I already have serious buyers remorse.

No one tells you the dark side:  getting 45 emails in seven minutes and being unable  to understand how to respond to the people who haven't bothered to contact you via a visit, phone call, or blog comment (you know who you are).

All of the sudden I am in the middle of 27 "conversations" most of whom are between people that I DON'T KNOW.  I can't keep up.  I'm confused. I now understand what it is like to be Doug Beagley at a family reunion.

I just want my blog....   I can take a week and a half to complete my entry if I choose.  No one interrupts me.  It's peaceful here.

Ahhhh.  I feel better already.

p.s.  and beware to all my younger and hipper family and friends:  if I'm on Facebook, it can no longer be cool.  Sell Facebook. 

Red, Whitish & Blue

NOTHING says  Patriotism more than Cherry, Lemon and Berry Blast Jello!  

I'm proud to say that this recipe is a Rowley Fourth of July tradition.  They may have taken our sparkler bombs and mortars with the recent fireworks ban, but they will not separate us from the tackiest dessert known to man.  It doesn't look good (as you can see), it doesn't taste good (as our guests can attest), but it screams America!  Sure Maine and the Great Northwest invariably slip off the plate and this year, we had a real problem with Texas drooping before Berry Blast was set, causing a tidal wave of blue sugar water on my freshly mopped floors.  But it was worth all the blood, sweat and three tiers to see this baby pop out of the mold and hear the ooh's and ahh's (or were those gasps?) of our fortunate guests.  Invariably there are turf wars (kind of like those in the game of Risk or between the Jets and the Sharks?) over who gets New York or California... standing rule is that you must have lived in a state to claim it as your own.  BTW, Cudo's to the rookie Tyler for taking it to Veteran Attendee Kory and staking claim to Florida.  Impressive.  Most Impressive. 

It's Manifest Destiny all over again.  I know that by this point you are unconsciously humming "I'm Proud to be an American"... and that's okay..  I understand.

If you are lucky enough to be invited to this social event of the summer next year, you may have the opportunity of savoring these bursts of flavor and celebrating the birth of our nation in the only way it was meant to be celebrated...  With J-E-L-L-O.  It will be worth the 365 days of anticipation.  But, if in the meantime you can't wait for your favorite shimmering dessert, you can pop down to Utah where it is always plentiful... the Jello may be green, but there will be lovely shredded carrots in it... and you can get it every day of the year.

God Bless the USA.

Whenever I Think About Pioneers

This month in church, we will be teaching the children of our ward about Mormon Pioneers and their trek across country to Utah. I love pioneer stories and have ever since I was a child. I love stories of their bravery, their humor and their quirks. While I don't believe I have any ancestors who crossed the plains, I feel like these incredible individuals are my heritage too.

I love that Steve comes from good ole' Pioneer Stock on both sides of his family. I chose an excerpt from a journal of a member of the Abraham Smoot Company. Steve's Great Great (I've lost track of the number of "Greats" to insert) Grandpa Ralph Nephi Rowley traveled in this same company. (Ralph loved Nephi so much he changed his middle name to honor him upon joining the church).

I love imagining little Levi and his mother bumping into the Rowley clan on a daily basis on that long dusty trail...
--------------------------

Trail Excerpt:

Mormon Pioneer Overland Travel, 1847–1868
Source:
Wolstenholme, Levi, Life Sketch of Levi Wolstenholme Sr. 2.

The saints finally started for Utah. Mother, now a tiny woman weighing no more than 98 pounds was a widow with we three children to care for. I was the youngest. Just three years old and I had grown to be a fat huskey youngster. We came to Salt Lake in Abram Smoot's company. My parents had joined what was known as the ten pound company while in England therefore our transportation was paid. Nevertheless my mother had to walk a great portion of the way and also carried me. I have often heard my sister Lavinia and brother Daniel tell of how mother would pick up cloths on her way and when night came would sit down, and take off her worn shoes. She then would wash her bleeding feet and wrap them up again in the cloths she had picked up. We finally arrived in Salt Lake City in the fall of 1852.

--------------------------------------------

Kind of puts things into perspective, huh? I'll try not to whine if the bus is crowded on the commute home today... Even though I reallllllly miss my parking pass.

The Gimp of My Dreams

Sorry Ladies... He's all Mine!

So, in retrospect, a two week road trip ten days after Steve's ankle surgery, may not have been the wisest choice we've ever made. But it did make for an interesting experience!

On May 16, Steve and I flew to Baltimore and rented a car. Two weeks later, we flew out again. We'd been in 8 states and 1 Canadian province and put 2,500 miles on the rental (we were determined that Thrifty Rent a Car wasn't going to make a nickel off of us!).

Despite Steve's ankle, despite the need to rent a wheel chair, despite 5 1/2 hours in the York, PA emergency room (now that was a cultural experience!), we had a wonderful trip! Steve was an amazing trooper. Every day we'd take off and explore these wonderful scenes from our church's and our nation's history... Every night Steve would unwind his bandages and find that his wound opening more and more! But Steve's sense of humor and adventure wouldn't hold him down.

A few examples of Steve's twisted brand of humor:

Day 3 found us in ER. We waited and waited. While drug addicts and newly released convicts (I kid you not) were seen and sent home, we continued to wait. Finally after more than four hours of waiting, we were assigned a room... or so we thought. We were led to "8H". 'Turns out "H" stood for "Hallway". So, we waited in the hallway for another 45 minutes. During this time Steve had time to consider though and became convinced that H actually stood for "High Priority." This is why I love this man. Through out the trip he also convinced me that all the women were jealous of me, because deep down, "every woman wants a Gimp." After pushing him in the wheelchair for two weeks (and actually losing a couple of pounds), I'm convinced he's right... it's very sexy! Especially when you get to load and unload every suitcase yourself.

In addition to spending time with the world's sexiest unipod, we saw so much that deepened our faith and our gratitude of living in this wonderful country. We spent time at Gettysburg, in Amish Country, we toured Harmony, Pennsylvania, and stood in sacred places in Fayette and Palmyra, New York. We visited Niagara Falls and Kirtland, Ohio. We spent a morning in Harpers Ferry and that afternoon at Antietam. We drove through the first area where Steve served his mission 30 years before and Steve was able to visit with some old, dear friends who took great care of him as he served there. In two days we toured Jefferson's, Madison's, Monroe's and Washington's homes. We had lunch with Brian's mission companion's parents in DC. We attended two different temples. On our last day we had a few hours to kill so we went to the world's fastest beach vacation and spent five minutes at the Jersey shore before returning to the airport. Tired, in desperate need of laundry services, and foot-sore (especially poor Steve!) but very happy.

Our wonderful Missionary Tour Guides at the Banks of the Susquehanna

Outside the Peter Whitmer FarmhouseThe Sacred Grove

Possibly the happiest day of his life...

the day when Steve toured the Joseph Smith Farm on a Jazzy Scooter!

Niagara Falls

Gnome enjoying the view

Maid Of the Mist... this was a blast!

Steve preaching on the same steps where Joseph Smith once preached.

Some day a bolt of lightening will find this man!

Harpers Ferry

Antietam Cemetary... Memorial Weekend

James and Dolly Madison Hanging out in their backyard.

Ahhh. The Sweet Release of a Car Nap

Mt Vernon

A funeral Cortage at Arlington Natl Cemtary

The Rowleys "Represent" at Gettysburg

The Site of Pickett's Charge

The DC temple with Tamara Lazarev...

The Jersey Shore