The Knowledge of the Heart

I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about the difference between knowing something intellectually and knowing it spiritually.

In the past few weeks, I've had the opportunity to discuss my beliefs with several friends who view life very differently than I do. As I've talked with these friends, I've had such a hard time describing what I mean. I keep pointing to my chest and saying, "I know it here."

I've also had the dubious honor (like many of us) of feeling much less temporally secure than I did six months ago, when my future seemed very clear and defined. It's brought me an appreciation of learning. I mean really learning. Like coming to know something in the depths of your heart and soul. So much, that in the process of learning it, you believe that it can never be shaken from you. Even Christ needed to learn this way... "that he may know according to the flesh" (Alma 7:12).

Like with anything worth having, this type of learning costs. Sometimes it costs dearly. But I'm starting to wonder, if this isn't what life is all about. This learning to give up things: your kids as they grow up, your love affair with your bank account, your supposed-self reliance. To stop clinging to things that only pretend to bring peace or security. To learn to walk the tight rope without a net, with your eyes fixed on the real goal in front of you and not on all the distractions in the circus tent. To learn what is real and what is just an ornate facade. To learn where true peace comes from and not the watered-down version that I too often settle for.

While in the past months I've felt more discomfort than I ever have in my life, it is worth the price. I still pray for a calmer economic front and peace and safety, but I'm grateful for the reminder. And I hope that once the troubled waters have calmed, (and they will calm) I'll keep with me another reminder from Alma, "if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?"

I'm glad that I am learning this lesson "according to the flesh". Now I just need to remember it.

Beagliest Losers? I Think Not!

Please take note:

Forks stayed in hand until our mission was accomplished.

Saturday, Gail, Karine and I went to Tri-Cities. We did a temple session and then had a wonderful lunch with Megan and Anne. Three hours of solid eating is probably not great for the Family Weight Loss Plan. Perhaps for this program to work, we need to take a vow that we will not see other members of the family until "the final episode." I will say, that with the way our mouths flew in conversation, we probably did burn some impressive conversational calories.

And not matter what, the laughter, the Mongolian Beef and definitely the 7-layer chocolate cake were worth the calories, the drive and the stomache ache that shortly followed the experience.

I may be chubby, but at least I've got my Sistahs with me.

Love American Style

You know, women really can not be trusted. They are greedy, grasping and you can never give them enough. They will take your soul if you let them... or apparently any other body parts that are readily available. If you've ever doubted this, I've got proof from the New York Daily News:

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A Long Island surgeon embroiled in a nearly four-year divorce proceeding wants his estranged wife to return the kidney he donated to her, although he says he’ll settle for $1.5 million in compensation.
Dr. Richard Batista, a surgeon at Nassau University Medical Center, told reporters at his lawyer’s Long Island office Wednesday that he decided to go public with his demand for kidney compensation because he has grown frustrated with the negotiations with his estranged wife.

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All the poor man wants is to leave the marriage with what he went into it with. The guy has already lost his heart. Can't he get his kidney back? or the reasonable facsimile? (which is apparently $1,500,000).

Look how sad he looks. He is obviously missing his kidney.

This Was No Silent Night

The Cast of the Nativity

Steve and I weren't sure what this Christmas would hold, but it was one for the books! A foot of snow (our first-ever Seattle white Christmas... I've waited a LOT of years for this!), a phone call from France and hosting dinner with friends Christmas nights were some great highlights.
We also had a wonderful Christmas Eve... As is tradition, we spent the evening with Steve's parents in Port Orchard. We had the annual Mexican Feast and Nativity Play, but this year, we added a special twist: Santa showed up!!!! A few of you may recognize his uncanny resemblance to Uncle Steve!

The Transition Begins

Steve doesn't really relish being the center of attention, so he was initially a little reticent. But one look at the wonder-filled faces of his nieces and nephew, and Steve's heart was won over. The little ones were so enamored by Santa showing up in Grandma's living room! Almost four-year old Skylie was the least shy of the group and approached Santa as soon as he was seated in the chair of honor. She walked up, looked up at him with those doe eyes of hers and said in a clear and confident voice, "Santa, I cleaned my room." I thought Steve's heart would melt. He got so many hugs and kisses from the little guys and he is such a sucker for that. It really made his Christmas... and mine! He got so excited at the end that he almost took a few eyes out as he tossed candy to unsuspecting family members... but no one was maimed, so it was a good night for Santa Claus.

Oddly enough, just as Santa had left, Steve returned to the party. He said to the kids, "Hey, guess what I just saw??? I saw Santa and his sleigh fly off!" The kids looked at him with awe. Little Elizabeth asked with great excitement, "did you see Rudolph?" Steve replied, "I did see a bright red nose... that must have been him." Elizabeth was very excited and said in a very superior tone to her older brother, "see Mark! I told you Rudolph wasn't just a story!"

....And to all a good night!!!!

Santa with Skylie

...and Elizabeth

...and Mark!

(Mark was hysterical, because he was quite nervous to introduce himself to Santa. But after a bit of positive-self talk he geared up, put his game face on, and as you can see, got quite comfortable very quickly!)

Greetings from France

I thought folks might be ready for an Elder Rowley Update.  Here are a few quotes from recent emails...  Brian, in his own words: scary thought, huh?  I've left the punctuation and style just as we received....  I hope no one is offended by a few of B's turns of phrase, but those who know him well wouldn't recognize him without them...

Here they are:

• its kind of weird being roomates with people who have been on their missions way longer than me cuz its hard to quote new movies and stuff. hopefully i don't lose my sense of humor.  [this has been the only fear that Brian has shared with us since arriving in Paris.  the kid is definitely unique!]
• today was elder fairbourne's b day so we went bowling on our p day it was awesome! then we went and got pizza kobobs. soooooo bomb. [I included this to show that Brian is really appreciating the french cuisine!]
•  im gay enough i have a freaking scarf!!!!  there so normal over here but dad dont worry im drawing the line here!!!! NO MAN NIKKERS!!!!! [Steve and Brian have always shared a disdain for men wearing capris.  They refer to them as "man nickers"]
•  i miss you all dearly though but this is where im supposed to be.  nothing is bad!!!  and if something seems bad or hard, its really not.  it really is only for our good to make us better and stronger.  the lord loves us so much and he would never just let us suffer for nothing, it is always great for us in the long run.  sacrifices, i've learned are really just big leaps of faith.  and it always seems hard or bad at first, but it ends up being giving up something good for something great, its not really a sacrifice.  we have so much to be thankful for its ridiculous!!!!!  gosh life is good and will just keep getting better! 
•  ive noticed really quickly that the worst days on the mission are days where you dont work hard.  there was one day this week where we were on exchanges and i was with elder navarro and we couldn;t do enything cuz neither of us spoke french and so we just sat around!!!!  it was freaking horrible!!!!  the worst day of my mission,  but it was such a good experience!!!  all of our trials are in the long run.
  

We're thrilled for Brian to have this incredible opportunity.  I love seeing that he is still Brian, but already a more mature version of himself.  It's exciting to see and brings a special kind of joy to this Christmas.  

Mele Kalikimaka

Down town Lahaina's Famous Banyan Tree ready for Christmas!

I fell in love with this Stand of Trees on the Road to Hana

Another mighty Banyan Tree on our Hike

A beautiful black sand beach

Self-Portrait of a Very Happy Pair

Sunset at Makenna Beach

Back in August, before the world fell apart, we planned a trip to Maui for early December. While now, it hardly seems practical, it has still been a blast.

Steve and I arrived last Saturday afternoon. We stayed at a tiny, but beautiful condo right on the beach in Lahaina. We've enjoyed great seafood, some amazing hikes and beach time, not to mention the very strange experience of hearing Christmas songs while wearing flip flops at 85 degrees.

Some highlights were the crazy Road to Hana, (which we didn't take last trip because we had a bored teenager in the back seat), a beautiful hike through a bamboo forest to the tallest waterfall we've ever seen, and some incredible sea food. It's also amazing to remember what it's like to have plenty of time together, to sleep 9 - 10 hours a night (incredible!), and have skin that no longer looks like Edward Cullen's less the sparkles (at least for another week and a half).

We also had a wonderful dinner with my former boss and her husband, who have since retired and now live in this Paradise. If you sense any bitterness here, I'm sure it's your imagination. When the market recovers, in another 25 years or so, we can afford to come live here as well. Of course this will depend on other factors such as our strategy for winning the lottery, searching out a buried treasure with our metal detector, or finding a long-lost rich uncle who will come to love us with his final breaths. (If you know either of our families, you realize that this last one is a real long shot.) In the mean time, we have no problem watching how the other half lives and pretending it is us for brief moments in time.

It has been a great week and a wonderful contrast to years' past with the Hectic Holidays breathing down our throats. It's also a great reminder that yes, Virginia, there is Life after Children. This trip was a wonderful one to take with Brian a few years back and we saw so many things this past week that made us miss him, but it was also fun to try the trip again at our own pace and style. My only real concern now is that, well, .... next week is really going to suck.

Mein Fuhrer on Washington Sports Scene

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI_xCBAv2rk

   As dark as the picture presented in this documentary, it still doesn't cover the depths of the Pacific Northwest's degradation: Seattle Sonics, Mariners, SeaHawks, University of Washington, WSU... find me a winner in that mix.

   As I've always said... to be a fan of Seattle sports is to have one's heart broken every season.  True that, Adolph!