I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about the difference between knowing something intellectually and knowing it spiritually.
In the past few weeks, I've had the opportunity to discuss my beliefs with several friends who view life very differently than I do. As I've talked with these friends, I've had such a hard time describing what I mean. I keep pointing to my chest and saying, "I know it here."
I've also had the dubious honor (like many of us) of feeling much less temporally secure than I did six months ago, when my future seemed very clear and defined. It's brought me an appreciation of learning. I mean really learning. Like coming to know something in the depths of your heart and soul. So much, that in the process of learning it, you believe that it can never be shaken from you. Even Christ needed to learn this way... "that he may know according to the flesh" (Alma 7:12).
Like with anything worth having, this type of learning costs. Sometimes it costs dearly. But I'm starting to wonder, if this isn't what life is all about. This learning to give up things: your kids as they grow up, your love affair with your bank account, your supposed-self reliance. To stop clinging to things that only pretend to bring peace or security. To learn to walk the tight rope without a net, with your eyes fixed on the real goal in front of you and not on all the distractions in the circus tent. To learn what is real and what is just an ornate facade. To learn where true peace comes from and not the watered-down version that I too often settle for.
While in the past months I've felt more discomfort than I ever have in my life, it is worth the price. I still pray for a calmer economic front and peace and safety, but I'm grateful for the reminder. And I hope that once the troubled waters have calmed, (and they will calm) I'll keep with me another reminder from Alma, "if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?"
I'm glad that I am learning this lesson "according to the flesh". Now I just need to remember it.
2 comments:
Great thoughts Lynn. We really like to think we can learn through our eyes, ears and minds, but learning comes more forcefully if we assign it an emotion. That means our hearts and that's learning we gain at a cost. You're right, it is worth it. The scares we get from life are precious learning. That is the learning that is written on our hearts and we tend to remember those - or at least we remember how it made us feel. Thanks for everything you have taught me over days and years!
What a beautiful post, Lynn. I feel oddly close to your words and can certainly relate to many things you wrote about...
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