It was announced earlier this month that my company will be closing its doors on June 30. As the one who has keeps financials on the firm, it didn't come as a surprise. But guess what? Even expected events have the power to shock.
It's a small firm (19 of us at our peak) with very little employee turnover. I was one of the first employees, hired 11 1/2 years ago. So, yes, we all know each other... probably too well. These people stopped feeling like coworkers and began to feel more like family by about 2004. I know their quirks, they know mine. I trust these people.
I've come to terms with the loss in net worth from my company stock and the loss of cash flow as it may take some time to find a new job. Those thoughts aren't fun, but they aren't devastating. The part I haven't begun to deal with is not seeing these people every day. At my new place of employment, will anyone really care about the mice that Brian found in his apartment or that my brother in law has a new girlfriend? What will I do when I don't know if Alex's son slept through the night or without my almost daily update on how Ashley's husband is doing with his Masters program? And what about Allison's dating scene? How will I go one not knowing how last night's date went and how will she make it through without my ever so wise counsel?
Now, this isn't my first gig. I've worked at other firms and I've been fortunate to have made some life-long friends at other companies (EF Hutton in the 80's and US Bancorp in the 90's). I'm smart enough to know that new doors will be opening and I'll work with wonderful people again. I'll have the opportunity to gain new skills and new friends. But they won't be these friends. These people whose lives have intertwined with mine for over a decade.
It will take months to begin to build relationships and then years to develop that psychic shorthand which comes only from working side by side day, covering for each other, relying on one another and laughing away troubles and concerns. Eleven years of running jokes are not easily replaced.
Yes, come July I'll be looking ahead with some anticipation and excitement of new adventures and challenges. But for now, I'm savoring every day with this disfunctional family I've come to trust and love.
5 comments:
I'm so sad to hear that. I can relate to your feelings though-- What we had at Rigel was very special. Though the time came for me to move on, I still talk about what an incredible time it was and how it almost wasn't fair to have that as my first post-college job that I'll forever compare every other job situation to. Fond, fond memories and some special people....take care, I know you will find another good fit!!
Well said, Lynn. It really is those everyday interactions, jokes, and ease that are so hard to see end. I think you really have to allow yourself to mourn the end of an era.
Ok, this is something totally random that I just thought of. Try saying "freakin Frink" three times fast. It turns into freankin Frink when I get going.
Hey girl, just wanted to let you know we have been mentioning the Rowleys by name in our prayers. We LOVE you!!!
I am so sorry about this, my heart aches for you. I know that good things will happen for you, but that doesn't make it any easier now to say goodbye to so many things that you had invested in. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I'm so sorry,Lynn! As Kelly said, give yourself time to mourn. I can't imagine saying goodbye to something that I had invested so much time and effort. But the relationships, memories and lessons learned will be with you always, to buoy you up as you go forward into the next phases of your life. Whatever that may be, I know you will make the best of it. That's just who you are! Love ya!
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